now i know why i became what i already was.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
