I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
