Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Randomize
