There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize