ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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