So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
