Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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