we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
