Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
