talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
