Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
