It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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