I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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