and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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