It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
