Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize