your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
