i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
