i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
