Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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