We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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