Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sober January is a disaster.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize