Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
