i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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