I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
