For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
