Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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