So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
