I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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