I'm lost and stupid without you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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