the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
