I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
