I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
