We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
