Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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