Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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