Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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