Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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