I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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