You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
