i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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