How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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