just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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