I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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