dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
