If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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