you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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