Plan B is the new Plan A
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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