i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
