but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He passed out mid-signature
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
