dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
