I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
