i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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