he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize