You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that's an acceptable place to lick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
