hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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