i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its not stalking. its research.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
