forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
