this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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